A girl dramatically entered the living room and said to her father, “Dad, cancel my allowance, rent out my room, throw all my clothes out the window, take my TV, stereo, iPhone, iPod, and laptop. Sell my jewelry, my car, take my house key, and kick me out. Disown me and leave everything to my brother.”
After a pause, she added with a grin, “Dad, this is my new boyfriend.”
Little Johnny farts in the classroom, causing his teacher to get really upset and throw him out. Sitting outside the class, he can’t stop laughing. The principal walks by and asks, “Little Johnny, why are you sitting outside your class laughing?” “I farted in class and the teacher threw me out,” Johnny replies. The principal…
Sharing a Simple Meal An elderly couple decided to enjoy a meal at McDonald’s. When they ordered, the old man split the fries and burger in half. Observing this, some students offered to buy more food so they could each have a whole meal. “No, no, that’s fine,” said the old man, “We share everything.”…
Unlucky Husbands (Funny Story) Two old friends reunited after many years. One asked, “Tell me, what happened to your son?” “Oh, my poor son!” sighed the mother. “His marriage is so unfortunate. He ended up with a girl who doesn’t lift a finger around the house. She spends all day in bed, either sleeping or…
One asked the other if she would like a beer. The second nun answered that, indeed, it would be very nice to have one, but that she would feel uncomfortable purchasing it. The first nun replied that she would handle it without a problem. She picked up a six-pack and took it to the cashier….
Walking home after a girls’ night out, two women pass a graveyard and stop to pee….👇See the continuation in the first comment 👇 Walking home after a girls’ night out, two women pass a graveyard and stop to pee. The first woman has nothing to wipe with, so she uses her underwear and tosses it. Her…
A Bag Full of Used Clothing Wife’s Intentions A wife mentioned she had a bag full of used clothing that she wanted to give away. She felt that there were poor, starving people who could benefit from the clothes. Husband’s Practicality The husband suggested throwing the clothes in the trash, noting it would be much…