After 37 years of marriage, Jerald left his wife, Catherine, for his young secretary. His new girlfriend insisted they live in Jerald and Catherine’s luxurious home. Jerald’s lawyers outmatched Catherine’s, forcing her to leave within three days. On the first day, she packed her belongings; on the second, movers collected her things. On the third…
A man returned from work one night headed straight to the bedroom and started making love to his wife. When done, he went to the kitchen and got some cold water only to find his wife there, also looking for something in the fridge. He asked his wife how she got to the kitchen so…
Two old men are sat on a bench at the park. A young, smoking hot girl runs past in a sports bra and a tiny pair of shorts. One of the men smiles and this brings the girl over. “Why are you staring at me and grinning, you pervert?” she says. Two old men are…
80,000 blondes meet in a football stadium for a “Blondes Are Not Stupid” Convention. The leader says, “We are all here today to prove to the world that blondes are not stupid. Can I have a volunteer?” A blonde gingerly works her way through the crowd and steps up to the stage. The leader asks…
Little Johnny was sitting in class doing math problems when his teacher picked him to answer a question,… Little Johnny was sitting in class doing math problems when his teacher picked him to answer a question, “Johnny, if there were five birds sitting on a fence and you shot one with your gun, how many…
Someone going to work sees a crowd of people walking… A boy is selling fish on a corner. To get his customers’ attention, he is yelling, “Dam fish for sale! Get your dam fish here!” A pastor hears this and asks, “Why are you calling them ‘dam fish.’” The boy responds, “Because I caught these…
Three Girlfriends A man is lying on the beach, wearing nothing but a cap over his crotch. Passing Remark A woman passing by remarks, “If you were any sort of a gentleman, you would lift your hat to a lady.” Witty Response He replies, “If you were any sort of a sexy lady, the hat…
A cow, an ant, and an old fart were debating who was the greatest among them. The Cow’s Claim The cow argued, “I give 20 quarts of milk every day and that’s why I am the greatest!” The Ant’s Argument The ant countered, “I work day and night, summer and winter, I can carry 52…
A woman died and found herself standing outside the Pearly Gates, being greeted by St. Peter. She asked him, “Oh, is this place what I really think it is? It’s so beautiful. Did I really make it to heaven?” To which St. Peter replied, “Yes, my dear, these are the Gates to Heaven. But you…
An old lady is speeding down a highway…… A cop pulls over an old lady for speeding… …”Afternoon ma’am. May I see your license and registration?” The old lady wordlessly hands the officer these items. As the officer reaches for the papers, he takes observation of the old woman She wasn’t just old, she was…