A man is lying on the beach, wearing nothing but a cap over his crotch.
A woman passing by remarks, “If you were any sort of a gentleman, you would lift your hat to a lady.”
He replies, “If you were any sort of a sexy lady, the hat would lift by itself.”
John returned from an African safari and excitedly recounted his adventure to his friend, Mark. “I was deep in the jungle,” John began, “when suddenly I heard a rustling in the bushes behind me. I turned around and saw a massive lion, licking its chops and staring right at me.” John described how the lion…
One day, a snail decided he wanted to buy a fancy new sports car. After saving up for years, he finally had enough money and went to the dealership. He picked out a sleek, red convertible and told the salesman, “I want this car, but I want a big ‘S’ painted on the hood, the…
After making love, the man excused himself and went into the bathroom. When he returned, the woman sat up in bed and remarked, “I can tell you are a doctor by the way you washed your hands before and after. ” “Well, that’s right, ” the fellow said with a self-satisfied grin. “Do you know…
A man and woman were in bedroom…. A bee went into my vagina! One day a man and his wife were in their bedroom making love. All of a sudden a bumble bee entered the bedroom window. As the wife parted her legs the bee entered her vagina. She started screaming “Oh my god, help…
Little Johnny was sitting in class doing math problems when his teacher picked him to answer a question,… Little Johnny was sitting in class doing math problems when his teacher picked him to answer a question, “Johnny, if there were five birds sitting on a fence and you shot one with your gun, how many…
After 37 years of marriage, Jerald left his wife, Catherine, for his young secretary. His new girlfriend insisted they live in Jerald and Catherine’s luxurious home. Jerald’s lawyers outmatched Catherine’s, forcing her to leave within three days. On the first day, she packed her belongings; on the second, movers collected her things. On the third…