Grandpa’s IRS Audit The IRS decides to audit Grandpa and summons him to their office. He arrives with his attorney, which doesn’t surprise the auditor. The auditor mentions, “You have an extravagant lifestyle and no full-time employment, which you explain by saying that you win money gambling. I’m not sure the IRS finds that believable.”…
A Little Old Lady Who Was Very Spiritual A spiritual little old lady would step onto her porch every day, raise her arms, and shout, “Praise the Lord!” One day, an atheist moved next door and grew irritated by her daily praises. After a month, he yelled back, “There is no Lord!” Undeterred, she continued…
The F-Word A man goes to confession, saying, “Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned.” He tells the priest he used the “F-word” over the weekend. The priest instructs him to say three Hail Marys and watch his language, but the man insists on explaining why he swore. The man recounts playing golf on Sunday….
A couple was having relationship issues and decided to communicate only through silence. The husband needed to be woken up at 5 AM for a business trip but didn’t want to break the silence first. He wrote a note saying, “Please wake me up at 5 AM” and left it where his wife would see…
A woman goes to her boyfriend’s parents’ house for dinner. This is tobe her first time meeting the family and she is very nervous. They all sit down and begin eating a fine meal. The woman is beginning to feel a little discomfort, thanks to her nervousness and the broccoli casserole. The gas pains are…
An Old Woman Was Walking Her Dog One evening, an old woman was walking her dog when a young man snatched her purse and ran off. A couple across the street saw the incident and hurried over to check on her. They informed her that the police had been called and would arrive shortly. The…
The Secret to a Happy Marriage I asked my friend, “What is the secret behind your happy married life?” He replied, “You should share responsibilities with love and respect each other. Then, there will be no problems.” Curious, I asked him to explain. He said, “In my house, I make decisions on bigger issues, while…
A blonde calls her boyfriend and says, “Please come over and help me. I have a challenging jigsaw puzzle, and I can’t figure out how to get started.” Her boyfriend asks, “What is it supposed to be when it’s finished?” She replies, “According to the picture on the box, it’s a rooster.” Her boyfriend goes over to…
A Blind Man Walks Into a Restaurant A blind man enters a restaurant and sits down. The owner, who is also the waiter, hands him a menu. The man responds, “I’m sorry, sir, but I am blind and can’t read the menu. Just bring me a dirty fork from a previous customer. I’ll smell it…
Funny Joke – $50,000 For The Funeral!…. Widow at the funeral Long Sam died and left $50,000 in his will for an elaborate funeral. As the last attenders left, Sam’s wife, Rose, turned to her oldest friend, Sadie, and said: “Well, I’m sure Sam would be pleased.” “I’m sure you’re right” replied Sadie, who leaned…