Grandpa And Grandma Always Got Very Excited

After 37 years of marriage, Jerald left his wife, Catherine, for his young secretary. His new girlfriend insisted they live in Jerald and Catherine’s luxurious home. Jerald’s lawyers outmatched Catherine’s, forcing her to leave within three days. On the first day, she packed her belongings; on the second, movers collected her things. On the third…

Little Johnny is taking a shower Long Little Johnny is taking a shower with his mother and says, “Mom, what are those things on your chest!?” Unsure of how to reply, she tells Johnny to ask his dad at breakfast tomorrow, quite certain the matter would be forgotten. Johnny didn’t forget. The following morning he…

An Old Man Proves His Wife Can Hear An old man suspects his wife is having trouble hearing. He suggests she get a hearing test, but she refuses. To prove his point, he devises a plan. Testing Her Hearing He goes upstairs, turns on a recorder, and yells downstairs, “Honey, what’s for supper?” No answer….

Three Girlfriends A man is lying on the beach, wearing nothing but a cap over his crotch. Passing Remark A woman passing by remarks, “If you were any sort of a gentleman, you would lift your hat to a lady.” Witty Response He replies, “If you were any sort of a sexy lady, the hat…

The F-Word A man goes to confession, saying, “Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned.” He tells the priest he used the “F-word” over the weekend. The priest instructs him to say three Hail Marys and watch his language, but the man insists on explaining why he swore. The man recounts playing golf on Sunday….

Waitress’ Response To Customer After “”Inappropriate”” Order Request… A man goes into a restaurant and is seated All the waitresses are gorgeous. A particularly voluptuous waitress wearing a very short skirt and legs that won’t quit came to his table and asked if he was ready to order, “What would you like, sir?” He looks…