A man is lying on the beach, wearing nothing but a cap over his crotch.
A woman passing by remarks,
“If you were any sort of a gentleman, you would lift your hat to a lady.”
He replies, “If you were any sort of a hot lady, the hat would lift by itself.”
A drunk walks into a bar and sees a beautiful woman at the other end of the bar and says “Bartender, I want to buy that douche bag a drink”. The bartender says “You can’t talk like that! This is a respectable establishment, I’m going to throw you out!”. The drunk says “Okay, I’m sorry….
A guy took his blonde girlfriend to her first football game. They had great seats right behind their team’s bench. After the game, he asked her how she liked the experience. Blonde “Oh, I really liked it,” she replied, “especially the tight pants and all the big muscles, but I just couldn’t understand why they…
WIFE: Honey let’s play a game HUSBAND: Okay. What’s the game about? WIFE: If I mention a country, you run to the left side of the room and touch the wall & if I mention a bird, you run to the right side of the room and touch the wall. If you run in the…
Hilarious Blonde Joke I’ve Not Heard Before A young blonde started her new job as a physical education teacher for 16-year-olds. While supervising a soccer game, she noticed a boy standing alone at the far end of the field. Feeling sympathetic, she approached him and asked, “Hey there, everything alright?” The boy nodded, but the…
Guy gets even with his wife in a crazy way One evening last week, my wife and I got into bed. We were fooling around, the passion started to heat up, when she suddenly says: “I don’t feel like it, I just want you to hold me.” I said, “WHAT? Then what was all that…
Waitress’ Response To Customer After “”Inappropriate”” Order Request… A man goes into a restaurant and is seated All the waitresses are gorgeous. A particularly voluptuous waitress wearing a very short skirt and legs that won’t quit came to his table and asked if he was ready to order, “What would you like, sir?” He looks…