A man lies on the beach, wearing only a cap over his crotch. A woman walking by comments, “If you were any sort of a gentleman, you would lift your hat to a lady.” He responds, “If you were any sort of a hot lady, the hat would lift by itself.”
Little Johnny farts in the classroom, causing his teacher to get really upset and throw him out. Sitting outside the class, he can’t stop laughing. The principal walks by and asks, “Little Johnny, why are you sitting outside your class laughing?” “I farted in class and the teacher threw me out,” Johnny replies. The principal…
A man asked his wife what she wanted for her 40th birthday. “I’d like to be six again,” she replied. On the morning of her birthday, he woke her up early and they went to a local amusement park. What a day! He took her on every ride in the park: D_eath Slide, Scream Loop,…
A guy sends a text to his next-door neighbor:“Bob, I’m sorry. I’ve been riddled with guilt and I have to confess: I have been helping myself to your wife when you’re not around, probably more than you. I t’s been so incredible and fun, I’ve not been able to stop myself. Sometimes it goes on…
Sharing a Simple Meal An elderly couple decided to enjoy a meal at McDonald’s. When they ordered, the old man split the fries and burger in half. Observing this, some students offered to buy more food so they could each have a whole meal. “No, no, that’s fine,” said the old man, “We share everything.”…
A wife rings her husband at work one afternoon: Wife: Hi, how are you? Husband: I’m good. Wife: What did you have for lunch? Husband: Don’t you have anything else to ask? You always ask about trivial things like what I ate or what I’m wearing. Wife: Alright, then tell me, how should the Central…
Are You Blonde? A blonde cop pulls over a blonde driver and asks for her driver’s license. The driver searches through her car and asks, “Uhh, what are they again?” The cop responds, “Ugh. It’s the thing in your purse with your picture on it.” The driver says, “Oh yeah,” and hands over a compact…
Reading Jokes: A Boost for Mind and Mood Reading jokes has numerous mental and emotional health benefits. Processing punchlines and context enhances cognitive functions like memory and comprehension. Jokes often involve wordplay or unexpected connections, which improve mental flexibility and creativity. Laughter from jokes releases endorphins, the body’s natural feel-good chemicals, promoting well-being and temporarily…
A guy sends a text to his next-door neighbor: “Bob, I’m sorry. I’ve been riddled with guilt and I have to confess: I have been helping myself to your wife when you’re not around, probably more than you. It’s been so incredible and fun, I’ve not been able to stop myself. Sometimes it goes on…
Four married guys go fishing. After an hour, the following conversation took place: First guy: “You have no idea what I had to do to be able to come out fishing this weekend. I had to promise my wife that I will paint every room in the house next weekend.” Second guy: “That’s nothing, I…