Out of breath, he asked, “Please, may I hide under your skirt? I’ll explain later.” The nun agreed… A moment later two Military Police ran up and asked, “Sister, have you seen a soldier?” The nun replied, “He went that way.” After the MPs ran off, the soldier crawled out from under her skirt and…
A girl dramatically entered the living room and said to her father, “Dad, cancel my allowance, rent out my room, throw all my clothes out the window, take my TV, stereo, iPhone, iPod, and laptop. Sell my jewelry, my car, take my house key, and kick me out. Disown me and leave everything to my…
Boss: (Shouting) Little Johnny, come to my office immediately. Little Johnny: Yes, sir! Boss: Little Johnny, I noticed you arguing with the customer who just left. I’ve told you before that the customer is always right. Do you understand? Little Johnny: Yes, sir! The customer is always right. Boss: So, what were you arguing about with that customer? Little Johnny: He…
The 6th grade science teacher, Mrs. Parks, asked her class, “Which human body part increases to ten times its size when stimulated?” No one answered until little Mary stood up and said, “You should not be asking sixth-graders a question like that! I’m going to tell my parents, and they will go and tell the…
A irate wife complained that her husband spent all of his free time in a pub. So one night, he took her with him. “What’ll you have?” he inquired. “Oh, I do not know. “The same as you, I suppose,” she said. So the husband got a drink and threw it down in one shot….
A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead show up for the same job interview. The brunette is the first one to go in, and after filling out the forms and going through the questions, the interviewer decides to ask her last question: “How many D’s are there in “INDIANA JONES?” The brunette thinks for a…
H – “Hello?” . W – “Honey, it’s me. Are you at the club?” H – “Yes.” W – “Great! I am at the mall two blocks from where you are. I just saw a beautiful mink coat. It’s absolutely gorgeous!! Can I buy it?” H – “What’s the price?” W – “Only $1,500.00.” H…
A teacher noticed that a little boy at the back of the class, was squirming around, scratching his crotch and not paying attention. She went back to find out what was going on. He was quite embarrassed and whispered that he had just recently been circumcised and he was quite itchy. The teacher told him…
Little Johnny’s math grade was so bad that his teacher called home. That afternoon, when Johnny got home, his father stood at the door, clearly upset. “Why did you fail your math test?” his father asked sternly. Johnny simply shrugged and said, “My teacher isn’t very good.” Surprised by this response, his father urged him…
A 79-year-old man named John decides to visit the doctor after seeing a Viagra commercial on TV. He puts on his coat and heads for the door, where he meets his wife, Rose, who’s just returned from watering the garden. When Rose asks where he’s going, John responds with a smile, “I’m going to get…