A blonde goes to work one morning in tears. Her boss asks, “What’s wrong?” She replies, “My mom died.” He tells her to go home, but she insists, “No, I’ll be fine.”
Later, her boss finds her crying again and asks, “What’s wrong?” She responds, “I just talked to my sister, and her mom died, too!”
A cow, an ant, and an old fart were debating who was the greatest among them. The Cow’s Claim The cow argued, “I give 20 quarts of milk every day and that’s why I am the greatest!” The Ant’s Argument The ant countered, “I work day and night, summer and winter, I can carry 52…
A irate wife complained that her husband spent all of his free time in a pub. So one night, he took her with him. “What’ll you have?” he inquired. “Oh, I do not know. “The same as you, I suppose,” she said. So the husband got a drink and threw it down in one shot….
The pastor asked if anyone in the congregation would like to express praise for answered prayers. Long A lady stood and walked to the podium. She said, “I have a praise. Two months ago, my husband Tom had a terrible bicycle wreck, and his scrotum was completely crushed. The pain was excruciating and the doctors…
A Little Old Lady Who Was Very Spiritual A spiritual little old lady would step onto her porch every day, raise her arms, and shout, “Praise the Lord!” One day, an atheist moved next door and grew irritated by her daily praises. After a month, he yelled back, “There is no Lord!” Undeterred, she continued…
A Bag Full of Used Clothing Wife’s Intentions A wife mentioned she had a bag full of used clothing that she wanted to give away. She felt that there were poor, starving people who could benefit from the clothes. Husband’s Practicality The husband suggested throwing the clothes in the trash, noting it would be much…
When Jane first met Tarzan in the jungle, she was instantly attracted to him. Curious about his life, she asked if he had ever had sex. Tarzan replied, “Tarzan not know sex.” Jane explained what it was, and Tarzan said, “Ohhh…Tarzan use knot hole in trunk of tree.” Horrified, Jane offered to show him the…